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  • Regaining bits of me.

    2021 - 02.10

    Once upon a time I used to write, a lot. I wrote short stories, I wrote poetry. Somewhere along the line, like so many other things that I used to do and used to enjoy, I stopped. It became a place where judgment ruled and being judged was not something I wanted to subject myself to. The habit of comparing myself to others caused me to harshly judge the things that I enjoyed to the enjoyment of others and in that, I made myself…less. I continued to shrink myself down until there was no enjoyment of these hobbies or random thoughts that would flit through my head in some manner of rhythm. Eventually, all the enjoyment was stripped and I stopped doing everything.

    Now I’m sitting and looking at the things I used to enjoy from painting, to writing, to beading, and beyond trying to figure out how to recapture the wonder and joy that I felt during the creation process. For some things, it is also trying to figure out what to do with the created items.

    Clawing back to find my creativity and joy in life. I decided to start with photography. I love taking pictures and sharing the beauty of the natural world. A new camera is now mine and photos have started. Mostly things in my own little forest space and dogs or cats so far but I am greatly enjoying the play aspect.

    Here are a few photos I’ve recently taken…

    A small amount of lichen grows from a fallen tree.

    Pine sprig hanging off a branch.

    Close up of a tree’s bark

    The fallen tree lovingly referred to as “log” when playing with the dogs in the forest.

    Wolf lichen grows near and on a decomposing branch fallen to the forest floor.

    A light green and pink fluorite rests on a tree log.

    The sun shines on a couple of trees in the forest.

    The sun plays with the forest.

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    2 Responses to “Regaining bits of me.”

    1. Tala Waterdragon says:

      You are me and I am you only you are further along than me. My heart. <3

      • lilyth says:

        I don’t know that comparisons are helpful in this type of thing really. I am working to stop those myself. I compare my path and where I am to some others often…well I used to. It’s less frequent now. When we compare where we ARE to where another IS, we are basically telling ourselves that we are not yet good enough because we have not “caught up” but at the same time…it’s not a race. It’s not me vs. you or Jane vs me or Janet vs you or anything of that sort. We are on parallel paths and at this juncture, in that path, we can see each other but what seems like distance or progress is misleading. It is an illusion to make us think less of ourselves and our place in our path. For you see, our struggles are not the same but they are synchronous or even serendipitous that it puts us on a similar path. This means we are exactly where we should be. We are now able to help each other through though it may not seem equitable it is indeed both fair and equitable in reciprocating guidance between each other.

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